That was a rare achievement. I managed to complete the study plan I had set for the day. Every spare moment was spent reading, and now I am completely exhausted. It's surprising how tiring that can be.
Yesterday in the garden, I caught my first tick since being here. At the moment, all you observe outside is death. The leaves are falling to the ground, and even the last, most stubborn flowers are slowly giving in. All life is retreating.
Inside me, however, I feel like I’m a few months ahead, in spring. There isn't yet the fullness and variety of summer, but neither is there the coldness and bleakness of winter. It’s those first days when the sun begins to regain its strength. You can sense that much is in the process of becoming and will soon break forth; that new life is emerging and growing. Slowly, the awakening life becomes tangible everywhere. There’s not much to see yet, but the air is full of promise.
I’m a young person who hasn’t fully found or defined myself yet. But I’ve made the decision to let myself be shaped by someone else on this journey to myself. To open myself up to HIM in order to find myself in HIM, to define myself through HIM.
Considering that I only have this one life, it feels like a risk. But seeing that HE has loved me from eternity and knows me better than I know myself, it becomes a logical consequence. I surrender to HIM and trust HIM with all my heart.
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